Intuitive Explorations

It’s Tuesday, November 4th and the polls don’t close for another few hours.  I hope EVERYone reading this has exercised their RIGHT to VOTE.  I have.  It is TIME for CHANGE!

For those checking this blog for an update of my schedule, I have great good news this week:  I will be available regular business hours ALL of this WEEK.  It feels WONDERFUL!!!!!

And now…. some Mind Ramblings……

Something rather strange occurred last weekend that got me to thinking.  It is said, “you can’t go back home” -  meaning, as I interpret that particular wise-ism - that though any of us from time to time might find ourselves harboring some desire to return to a former state or place of being,  if we actually  attempt to DO so - it’s just not going to be the same.  We can’t go back, only forward.

From time to time over the last several years, Marty and I have contemplated one day relocating back to the Jacksonville area…. not necessarily Ashland, where we lived for the first 18 years of our marriage  (for him, the first 40 years of his life) …. not to Jacksonville, where I was born and raised… but to SOMEWHERE in that general area.

A few years ago, we even spent some time looking for properties in the area…. feeling a need to be closer to my mom and step father as they aged.  It’s amazing the way the pathway to relocation at that point in time became blocked at every turn. Obviously, the Universe was sending a message:  “No, this is not the right time or the right Path for you - at least not right now.”

Thus here we are, frequently making the drive between Forgotonia and the middle of Illinois.  The situations (relative to my folks) that we knew were coming, and that might be easier to help with, if we only resided nearer to them, are in full bloom.   But here we are, still firmly rooted in River City.  Driving back and forth.  Wondering WHY the other Path didn’t work out?!?  There must be some important REASON we need to be where we are for now?!?  What might that reason be?  Unfortunately, the Inner Intuitive Wise One, does not always answer such questions, even when we persist in asking and wondering.  Though from past experience, I’ve learned that eventually, given enough time, Wisdom and Understanding do come.

On Sunday, relatives of ours finished moving from their long time residence in Franklin, to a quaint and interesting two story older home in Waverly.  The weather was beautiful… the charm of both of these small small towns was experienced as particularly peaceful, nostalgic, and overwhelmingly attractive, during the hours we spent there.

In fact, the energy of the moment was so peaceful and enticing that we opted to take a scenic route home… detouring through Ashland, where we used to live.  As we headed for Ashland, I got to daydreaming about how it might be to return there to live sometime in the far future, perhaps a decade or so from now.  And my mind wandered to daydreaming, wondering what it might be like to live there at that future time.

To my surprise, from somewhere beyond conscious thought, popped the question:  “If your old house would turn out to be for sale at that time, would you want to purchase  it to live in again?”

In response to that Inner World question, my mind drifted to the most obvious gripe concerning the idea.  Something that’s bothered me since about two years after we sold the house.  The mid-70’s ranch home we designed ourselves and custom built (subcontracting out some of the work, doing much of it ourselves) was sided with a beautiful cedar siding on which we then used  (to our mind) a perfect shade of Olympic semi-transparent stain.  This is a stain that soaks deep into the wood and can last a lifetime, changing a bit with time, but generally only in beautiful ways.  It can be touched up lightly if desired, but was considered to be a mostly maintenance free application, that would increase in beauty through the decades.   A couple years after we sold the place, someone painted over the stain.  The house has not looked “right” to me since.  But the only viable “fix”  would be to repaint a different color OR yank off the siding and reside the whole thing.  Bummer.   This  led to my wondering what in the hell an assortment of owners since us have done to louse up the interior as well?!?  (yeah, I’m a nutcase when it comes to houses).

As if on cue to my line of thought, when we drove down our old block, we noted a “for sale” sign in the yard of our former home.  I don’t for a moment believe this is a “sign” from the Universe that the time to relocate is NOW.  We have far too much going on to contemplate a change of residence -  and heck, once my folks are gone, we’d probably much rather be right here where we are.

However, once back home, I could not resist looking up my old place on Realtor.com.  The listing is totally skewed… listing it as a one bathroom, rather than a bath and a half, UNTIL you actually click on the listing.  And the square footage is off by at least 200 square feet.  The house is 1786 square feet and is listed as 1500 and something instead.  My wonderful custom kitchen cabinets have been painted white.  I love white cabinets, but in the pics these somehow just don’t look so good.  A wonderful range hood has been removed from over the island cooktop.   And to add instult to injury per the exterior, the place has been reroofed with shingles of much lower grade than the original.  Pics at realtor.com only show the front of the house and a couple pics of the kitchen and one of the dining room.  I’d love to see what happened to my wonderful living room.  But perhaps it is best not to know.  If it were still looking GREAT, I’m sure there’d be a pic of it posted.

So nope, you can’t go back.  The home we custom designed and carefully appointed 34 years ago… just ain’t the same place.  I would not opt to purchase it now, unless it  became give-away priced.   When we arrived back home, I realized my current home IS “home”…..  I can’t even reconcile my former Ashland residence (what it has become)  with any of the wonderful memories I have from the years we lived there.

I think there’s a lesson in here somewhere about looking forward, not back.

That’s my stream of consciousness gunk for today.

Here are links to a couple of good discussion groups:

ASI Metaphysical Discussion Group Online

Exploring Mind Discussion Group

Gloria Reiser

217-222-9082
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